Apes of Wrath

To all you loyal readers, I apologize for the one day delay in posting a new blog.

I'll try not to let it happen again.

This week I'd like to talk about:

Evolution

I think it's high time us humans celebrated just how far we've evolved away from those lazy, chain-smoking, gun-toting apes, that "we" once were.




Just how far have we evolved?

Let's just say we're at the point where we now have Ape mocking ceremonies.
Man has become so sophisticated that he can now rub his evolution in the ape's face, by dressing up as an ape and then jumping through a ring of fire to slam dunk a basketball.
"Can you do that little monkey?" "Didn't think so."


Some of you are probably wondering where the word, Evolution, comes from.

Here's the break down:

Evol-u-tion

"Evol" is an alternate spelling of "evil."

The letter "U" in the word, Evolution, is pronounced, "Eeww." "Eeww" means "gross."

"Tion" is pronounced, "Shun." "Shun" means "not allowed."

So to tie it all together, the word, Evolution, means, "Evil grossness is not allowed."

Question: What is "Evil grossness"?

Answer: Being a monkey.

Here's an example of the evility of apes;

What do apes eat?

Bananas

What did Eve convince Adam to take a bite of that resulted in banishment from Eden?

An apple.

Would she not have offered Adam a harmless banana, had not the monkeys eaten them all?

Only God knows.

It's understandable why Creationists throw out the idea that we evolved from apes.

Creationists believe that God created man in his own image, and then created the ape in the image of God's ape. Simple as that.

Sort of like Michael Jackson and Bubbles.

Do these two look like they have anything in common, aside from matching outfits, hairstyles, and repressed terror?


Speaking of repressed terror, do you realize that some day humans will be left behind in the trail of evolution?

We will someday be Bubbles the chimp, or should I say, Bubbles the human. Clinging to the Michael Jackson of the new species.

These future super-humans will deny that they had anything to do with us.

Wait, back to an earlier point;

What if both the Evolutionists AND the Creationists are right?

What if God has been evolving?

Way back when, God created man in his own image, but at that time, God looked like an ugly monkey.

Then over a long while, he has shaped up into the fine looking lad that he is today.



Call me crazy, but I think I just came up with a new theory.

Who's with me?

'Til next time