Rapping Paper

Last night I was driving down the highway, and flipped on the radio.

I landed on B96.3

Perfect.

For those of you who are not familiar with B96, this is THE hot station. Sometimes they'll play the hot new single and then 'sear' it off at the end with the sound of lasers. I suspect real lasers.

The DJ will have someone call in a request, and they'll tease them a little bit, maybe even flirt, then they'll have them give a 'shout out', and then BAM!, the lasers shoot off and launch into Beyonce' or Justin Timberlake.

You can usually tell which radio stations are hot by the quality and frequency of these lasers. They are expensive, and can only be afforded by the top stations. These lasers also signify that the station is using the most up-to-date laser discs available, not cassettes.

When I tuned in last night, they were playing 'oldies'.

The DJ dug deep into the vault and pulled out "I'm Not a Player" by Big Pun, from WAY back in 1998!

"Hay-Oh!"

"Oh my god! Did they even have radios back then?!"

It sounded SOO dated.

I was like, "Uh, what drum machine is this? The Roland XS-800?!"

Get this: It was the same drum beat the whole time, with a repeating synthezier part, and Big Pun rappin' bout sex, money, cash, dollars, and guns.

Holy Oldie!

Nobody raps about that stuff anymore.

Everybody's too busy 'keepin it real' nowadays to hit on the real topics.

Rap has gotten a bad rap for being nothing more than a guy boasting about himself. How he's the toughest, has the most guns, gets laid the most, and cares the least about the hoes.

That's what's different about Big Pun. No ego pumping.

This lyric jumped out at me:

"I rip my prick through your hooters/ You couldn't measure my dick with 6 rulers"
"Who wanna ride it? Won't cost a dollar/Whether it's soft or hard, it'll still make you holla"

How many other rappers would be willing to admit that sometimes they cannot maintain a hard erection?

It happens to all of us. Even big time rappers.

I know you're probably thinking, "Wait. Did he just say that his penis measures over 6 feet?"

Yeah, he did. You can't roll with that? Lookacha girl right now. What's she thinkin?

Songwriters: Don't overlook the wordplay. Notice how he refers to his manhood as 'prick' in first half, and then refers to it as 'dick' in the second.

An average writer would have used 'dick' for both since it is not the word being used to rhyme the two lines.

Big Pun was probably a big Dylan/Leonard Cohen fan, and picked up the trick of rhyming middle words to strenghten the flow.

Unfortunately, I just found out that Big Pun died in 2000 of a heart attack caused by years of obesity.

Call me a dreamer, but I have a hunch that Big Pun is up in heaven, sittin' on a pimped out cloud, sparkin' a blunt with Ernie Hemingway and Billy Shakespeare right now.



'til next time

Josh